As we prepare to enter Oregon and begin the next chapter in our adventure, Zac and I were given an opportunity to reflect, reevaluate, and ultimately re-solidify our reason and purpose for doing this run. I am not going to tell you that everything has been smooth sailing from the start, but we have been sheltered by grace in a way that neither Zac nor I could have ever anticipated we would. Injury, fatigue, uncertainty, getting lost, hills, wind, not having enough time to just be alone, restless nights, heat, cold and the list goes on and on. It’s with reluctance that I share these things, but I have begun to see things with a bit more clarity.
A few days ago, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me something that I thought I would have had an answer for by now, “What is the most amazing thing that you have experienced thus far?” She must have thought for a moment that the phone went dead because I didn’t utter a word. I was speechless, and I couldn’t understand why! “I honestly don’t know mom,” I answered. Had I missed something? Was there something more that I was expecting to experience? Or shouldn’t I at least have the words to describe how I felt?
And then it hit me, “Why am I here?” It was like a load of bricks landing on my chest. Had I lost my purpose for doing this? My biggest fear was that Zac and I had become a product of routine. In spite of the experience, and in spite of the adventure, it was as though monotony had slowly crept in and was stealing our hearts.
Battling these thoughts, I remembered something that I had just read, “the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10). This wasn’t senseless loss of direction, we are in spiritual warfare. Even more so than that, I felt as though I was missing out on the “life” that Jesus was talking about!
I know to some, this statement causes some unrest. But if I told you that the sole reason of posting on this blog was to tell a couple of stories about the things that we have seen and the people we have met, then I would be lying. Because I see clearer than ever that God has brought us to the place we are in to proclaim His glory. I realize that I don’t always have the words, but that’s why God asked us to run, because this speaks louder than I could.
I have said before that I didn’t know how we were blessing people, but yet I have been told time and time again that people felt honored for just being a part of this run. Most of the time, Zac and I both agree that we feel like we have been blessed more than the people we spend time with or those who read our blog. This wouldn’t make sense if we didn’t serve a God who’s love and graciousness knew no bounds.
I tell you all this because Zac and I have had a shadow vehicle (a car that carries all our stuff as well as gives us shelter each night) for the last week and a half. During this time, our days became a much better environment for running and reflecting upon all that we had experienced thus far, as well as getting ready for what Oregon and Washington will have in store. As much as we love sharing our stories, our lives, and our passions with all who we come in contact with, our time that we spent assessing all that we have encountered and affirming our purpose for running from Mexico to Canada has proved to be a much needed break.
As I sit here in our hosts house on their ranch in Crescent City, I am deeply grateful to all that God has been able to do through this journey in my life, as well as all our awesome friends both new and old. God bless you guys and thank you for coming on this adventure with Jesus with us.